Monthly Archives: July 2010

RIP on the moon

The final resting place for Dr. Eugene Shoemaker is the moon.

The famed U.S. Geological Survey astronomer had trained the Apollo mission astronauts about craters but never made it into space.

Dr. Shoemaker had wanted to be an astronaut but was rejected because of a medical problem.  His ashes were placed on board the Lunar Prospector spacecraft before it was launched on January 6, 1998.  NASA crashed the probe into a crater on the moon on July 31, 1999, in an attempt to learn if there was water on the moon.

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Matrimonial pollsters contend that a man who kisses his wife goodbye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than a man who doesn’t.

Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, and thus, higher earners, it’s believed.

It has also been documented that men who kiss their wives before leaving home in the morning live five years longer than those who do not.

It’s all in the perspective

A young doctor examined an old man.  “And how do you feel”?  the young doctor asked.

“Not so good,” the old man sadly said.  “My left leg is giving me fits, it hurts something awful!”

“Oh, don’t you think that’s just old age, my friend”?

“No,” the old man said.  “My right one is the same age as my left, and it don’t hurt none!”

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Old age never lies

A newspaper interviewed a grizzled old man, sitting with his hands folded in his lap, behind his farmhouse.

“Sir, I’d like to know the secret of your long life.” asked the reporter.

“I drink a gallon of whiskey, smoke fifty cigars, and go out dancing every day of my life,” said the man.

“Remarkable!” said the reporter.  “And exactly how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven,” was the reply.

There are two kinds of people, those who do the work, and those who take the credit.

Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there.

(Indira Gandhi)

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He drove me to the depot

And just caught the 7:10.

As soon as he jumped on the train

It started to move again.

The car keys in his pocket

The train gone down the track

I sit here with my bathrobe on

Now how the heck do I get back?

(p. nicol)

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A friend indeed

You say you’ll climb mountains

Or dive in the sea for me,

You’ll go on a far journey

Or climb up a tree for me.

You say if I need you

You’ll stick our your neck for me;

But tell me now, please,

Will you cash a small check for me?


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A wife told her husband, “You never tell me you love me.”

“Oh yes I did,” he replied.  ‘I told you that when we were married.”

“But that was 20 years ago, ” she sighed.

“Okay,” he answered, “I love you.  This time don’t forget it.”

As far as I go

A woman slipped on a station escalator and started to tumble down to the bottom.  Halfway down she collided with a man, knocking him down, and the two continued downward together.

After they had reached the bottom, the woman, still dazed continued to sit on the man’s chest.

Looking at her, he said politely, “I am sorry madam, but this is as far as I go”.

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Youth is the time of life when the future seems forever

and the body bubbles with life’s joys.

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