Tag Archives: funny jokes

It’s all in the perspective

A young doctor examined an old man.  “And how do you feel”?  the young doctor asked.

“Not so good,” the old man sadly said.  “My left leg is giving me fits, it hurts something awful!”

“Oh, don’t you think that’s just old age, my friend”?

“No,” the old man said.  “My right one is the same age as my left, and it don’t hurt none!”

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Old age never lies

A newspaper interviewed a grizzled old man, sitting with his hands folded in his lap, behind his farmhouse.

“Sir, I’d like to know the secret of your long life.” asked the reporter.

“I drink a gallon of whiskey, smoke fifty cigars, and go out dancing every day of my life,” said the man.

“Remarkable!” said the reporter.  “And exactly how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven,” was the reply.

Unscheduled

He drove me to the depot

And just caught the 7:10.

As soon as he jumped on the train

It started to move again.

The car keys in his pocket

The train gone down the track

I sit here with my bathrobe on

Now how the heck do I get back?

(p. nicol)

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On the greens

A golfer teed off and accidentally hit a bystander on the head.

Enraged, the bystander yelled, “I am going to sue you for $5000.”

The golfer replied, “I said ‘fore'”

The bystander answered, “Okay, I’ll take it.”